Dealing with loss

Practical things to help with processing grief.

Even as we wait impatiently for things to “return to normal”, we know there are things that will not. And we have to accept that. And grieve for them, and the people we have lost.

Although grief is painful, we must recognise the importance of honouring it, both individually and collectively, and of allowing it to unfold in its own time rather than holding it to a timetable. Seeking to avoid it only makes things worse.

These things can help:

Writing a Grief Letter or Grief List.   Making an inventory of what we are grieving for can be enormously helpful when we feel overwhelmed. A letter, a list, a journal /diary entry. ‘What I Will Miss’

Making a Memorial Corner. Creating a special place to make space for grief –  tickets unused, photos of people we loved who have died, things they loved to hold or wear – can help us to say goodbye.

A Gratitude Walk. Physical movement can unlock things in us that thinking alone cannot. Going for walks, alone or with a loved one (whether beside us or on the phone) while focusing on things we are thankful for can be a powerful practice for dealing with loss.

Listening to Music that Helps us Feel. Music can open a pathway to our emotions in a way that words sometimes cannot, and we can open ourselves up to grief through listening to a familiar piece of music either alone or with others.

Telling Stories. When someone we love has died, it helps to listen to, and tell, stories about them, just as we do at a wake – and we can find deep comfort in spaces to remember specific losses in our lives, either with one other person or with a group.

Talk to someone outside your family or circle of friends who is not part of the grieving circle.

Christ Church is here to help; if you would like to speak to someone contact the Vicar

Christ Church and funerals

Cross Funeral Clipart

It is always heartbreaking to lose a loved one – but in these difficult times it is so much worse not to be able to arrange the funeral you would have wanted them to have, or they would have wanted.

Church ministers are, of course, here to take your loved one’s funeral, operating under the current restrictions, and we find it difficult as well – but we offer more than a civil celebrant can.

When we are allowed to meet again, this church will offer thanksgiving or memorial services free of charge (apart from disbursements, eg musicians’ fees etc) to those whose funerals we have taken in this time of lockdown.

Then you will be able to have the music, the tributes, the poems and people around you, as you remember and celebrate the life of the one you’ve lost.

And we also have an annual memorial service, to which we automatically invite you.

We do wrap around pastoral care before and after if you need it, including a bereavement support group – we’re not here just for the funeral itself.

Contact the Vicar – even if you just need a chat. Here’s our contact form

Prayers which may be useful at this time

Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your disciples,
‘I am with you always’.
Be with me today, as I offer myself to you.
Hear my prayers for others and for myself,
and keep me in your care.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Daily prayer from the Church of England website

https://www.churchofengland.org/more/media-centre/coronavirus-liturgy-and-prayer-resources